It's going to be a very random post.

Occasionally I think that I notice too much, think too much.

Often my emotions are not because of the thing itself, but because the realization that I actually feel in this way.

Like I'm not really angry at you, I'm actually angry at myself for being angry at you. It's a kind of realization that I would prefer not to realize, because it'd lead me to thinking too much.



Some time ago, when I was talking to a colleague, he suddenly reached to my collar and adjusted my collar under my dustcoat while I was still talking away. The act itself didn't really catch me by surprise, I was more surprised at the fact that I didn't feel weird or wanted to move away.

Er... don't think too much, the collar is not tucked all the way under the dustcoat, it was probably just folded or crooked to one side so he pulled it back up. But it's a fact that he always tells me that he likes to see me. Oh well. I don't really feel anything towards attached guys. Haha. But of course, I'm grateful that he's the type who can openly let you know that he likes your presence, because I feel appreciated and feel his sincerity as a friend.



I realized there are things that doesn't really matter when said by certain people, but would be the total opposite if said by others. Like the cheeky "You don't know where my office is? OK I'll bring you here next time when nobody else is here", if it was said by other people he would probably get an eternal curse from me for being disgusting. But somehow I found it damn funny when it came from this colleague. I guess it's a kind of mutual connection between people, some sort of character match.

Like there are people whom you won't hate no matter what they do or say to you.

Er... also don't think too much about this one, it's not the first time he said such things to me, and I found it funny every single time. But just funny, that's all. I have a natural immunity against married guys. =)



But those 2 guys also show one thing. See what attached and married guys say and do to their female colleagues. Haha.



Somehow I seem to be getting along better with male colleagues than female ones. Not as if there are many female colleagues around to start with though. But those few whom I know always give me the feeling that they don't like me and I'm not welcomed around them. Somehow. I may be a bit over-sensitive, but it's quite hard to shake off the feeling when I read their facial expressions, their tone, their body language. We once had a lot of talk about during gatherings, but maybe it's the long-time-no-see effect, things just change at the next time I see them. Or maybe it's just a plain character mismatch. Or maybe there are rumours going round about me.



I really don't have a problem getting along with the XY species. I hope my parents are not thinking in that way. If I could I would bring them both to my office and walk one round in the building.



It's like...
If I can't give you what you are looking for.....
And you can't provide me with what I want...
It's quite pointless, isn't it?



事情最糟糕的時候 就是當你發現你開始會期待



The thing about thinking too much is that at the end of the day, on one hand you would convince yourself it's just your imagination, but on the other hand you would desperately be praying hard that what you thought is not true.

內心的天使和魔鬼正打得頭破血流



I'm probably a genius at thinking too much.

都不知道打了幾個回合了